Sunday, July 25, 2010

Be Prepared

Today saw the resurrection of our translation program at the church. On most Sundays I would come into church and setup the transmitter and put out the receivers for our English-only brothers. I translate the entire service in real time from Spanish to English.

A few weeks ago, my services become unnecessary as the brothers had opted to attend to attend an English speaking church from now on. This is their right and God bless and prosper them wherever they go.

I received instructions via wisper-down-the-lane, presumably from the Pastor, to put the transmitter away. I ignored these instructions for several reasons:
(1) The day will come when someone else visits us that needs translation, and I would have to scramble to unpack and setup the transmitter and receivers over again. We're talking about 20 minutes of finding a suitable corner, with an available outlets, plugging everything in, testing the transmitter and receivers, and swapping batteries as needed. God forbid I have to go to the pharmacy and buy more batteries. And when that day comes, I will be informed of the needed translation minutes before the start of the service.
(2) The transmitter and receivers themselves are already tucked in a corner, plugged in, ready to use as needed, and out of anyones way.
(3) If the orders did come from the Pastor, I will soon hear it from him directly; especially if I am ignoring him.

As predicted, I was informed of needed translation at 09:48; the service starts at 10:00. The late notice is of course no ones fault. The nature of a church is to welcome anyone who wishes to enter, so there is really no telling when translation may be needed on any given day.

No problem, I thought, everything is already ready already. Apparently not. Recently the church had collected clothes and toys go give out at an event we had yesterday. The room where I keep the transmitter was used for storage. The transmitter and microphone where inexplicably unplugged and separated.

I was able to locate everything and setup before the service started, but I didn't have time to test the transmission or get a Pepsi from the pharmacy.

I should explain the Pepsi. During the length of the service (2.5 hours at least) about four different people take the microphone and preform their respective duties. I translate for all of them. Every spoken word is instantly translated by me. I try to match the speaker's tone, cadence and inflection. If they scream, I scream. So I need a tasty drink that is cool (to sooth my throat) and loaded with caffein (to keep me going).

I ran into the kitchen looking for a replacement. I knew we had plenty of soda cans left over from yesterday's event. Unfortunately, there were no cans left in the fridge. I located the sodas but all the boxes where still closed. I felt kind of guilty opening a box of twelve just to get one. I decided to grab one of the two Diet Coke's on the shelf, the only cans not in a box.

It was only after the service stared that I realized that the warm (strike one) diet (two) coke that I had was also decaffeinated (somebody kill me).

The drink was unpleasant but it did help me maintain my voice. As uncomfortable as I was this morning, I am still honored by the privilege of translating the service, especially God's Word. "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." (Psalm 139:14)

In as much as I think I was sabotaged by others, the moral is still true: be prepared!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Don't Make a Cop Call In a Tow for You

The Plan:
Meet up at the Church and depart at 10:00 to Woodstock, NH, for our annual camping trip; ETA 13:00.

The Revised Plan:
Josean is my ride, and he did't get the day off work. We would not make the convoy.
He would pick me up at 18:00; ETA 21:00.

Time to Burn:
Rather than go to work, now that I was available for it, I took advantage of this opportunity and had Lama drive me to the DMV. Needed to renew my ID. Expired in February and I never got off my but to renew it. After that, Lama took me to Pito's on Broad St.; delicious.

But I digress, He brought me back home and I started packing. Josean was latter than he thought, actual pickup was 19:30; ETA 22:30.

Actual Events:
At around 19:50, Josean gets a call from the Pastora (already at camp): Chris had car trouble and is marooned at a weigh station 1 mile north of Exit 3 I-93 North in Salem New Hampshire. He was a little past the half way mark. Massiel was with him. Everyone else was at the camp. We just got on the highway and have Maria following us. The pastors are trying to figure out wether they will have the car towed to Woodstock, NH or back to Providence, RI.

At 20:21 I called 611 for details of my roadside assistance coverage via AT&T. I wanted to let the Pastors know their options. They have AAA but we were closer and already in route. They will change a tire, gas it up to 3 gallons, or pay $50 of towing.

While in route I also looked up and forwarded contact info for AutoZones near Chris and near the camp site to the Pastors. They decided to use assistance through AT&T and have it towed to an AutoZone near Chris.

I made the call when we reached Chris at 21:03. Was on with them for 16 minutes describing situation and location. Apparently 2 out of 4 on the nuts holding the front right tire burst off while on the highway. Chris noticed it and stopped at the weigh station to take a look. Most of my time with Linda (the woman who answered at roadside assistance, I was on hold while she tried hunting down a local tower and repair shop. I could have done that, but they are baying $50 for the tow so we do it their way. She couldn't find anyone right away and said she'd call me back.

21:33 Linda called back to tell me she couldn't find anyone and asked if she could call the police as they always have someone on standby. WARNING: They may or may not accept their method of payment so the cost of the tow ma be entirely on us. What am I going to say, no?

21:39 Linda calls back and says she was able to reach the police and that a "wrecker" was being dispatched.

So we waited. Started watching Percy Jackson on my MacBook. Pastors called asking about when we could expect the tow to arrive. We didn't have an answer, and frankly, I didn't think Linda had one either. While on the phone with her she let slip that "Google is running slow today." Ok so your methods are literally the same as mine.

Around this time, Chris gave his GPS to Maria, Massiel joined her, punched in directions to the camp and left. No need for them to keep waiting with us. I had to stay because the coverage was through me. Josean had to stay because he would be our ride.

22:20 I called roadside assistance to see if they could give us an ETA. One dropped call and 12 minutes latter I got a, we can't confirm, "you'll need to call the local police." Why am I paying you at this point?

22:34 I call 911, they patch me through to state police. They confirmed situation and location, so they were aware of us, good. The trooper assigned to us was called away on another emergency, will get to us when he can, bad. A trooper? Where is the flatbed? Dispatcher gave me a few numbers for "wreckers" they use.

22:42 called the "wrecker." He'll send one of his drivers right out. ETA 20 minutes.

22:51 State Trooper arrives, sees us approach him, he gets on the speaker and instructs us to wait by the cars. Cautiously unnecessary, but then again, I am not in his shoes, I don't know procedure, and I imagine he didn't take kindly to being approached by 3 spics in a now darkened weigh station. Chris told him we called in a tow already. Trooper said we were all set, returned to his car, ran Chris' plates and left.

BY THE WAY: Had Chris not indicated that we had already called a tower, the trooper would have called one in. Adding an extra $50.00 for the tow because the State makes them do so much paperwork.

23:14 called the "wrecker" again. Where are you guys? They were just around the corner. Towed it to a local Pep Boys parking lot. They were, of course, closed. The plan was to come back in the morning.

00:20 we got some grub at Wendy's and struggled to stay awake for the rest of the trip. Josean had a full day of work, so did Chris and I was still hurting from the DMV. I gave them my last two peaces of gum. I started slipping in and out of consciousness. I quoted movies to try and stay awake.

02:30 made to the camp. Josean an Chris slipped into the already constructed youth tent. Thank you brothers. I however prefer to sleep in my own tent. This isn't some homophobe thing. This is a "I brought my tent and I intend to use it" thing. So I started pitching my tent in the dark, as quietly as I could so as not to wake the brothers who were snoring like polar bears.

03:13 I am in my tent and ready for bed.

Moral:
Hope for the best.
Be ready for the worst.
Do what you can at every instance.
And never let the cops call in a tow for you.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Guns: Handle With Care

"The second you don't respect this, it kills you." - FBI Special Agent Stanley Goodspeed in The Rock (1996), played by Nicholas Cage.

Last night I was at party (yeah, lets call it that) with some friends (yeah, lets cal them that) setting off some fireworks. They apparently became legal in Rhode Island recently. Lama (yeah, lets call him that) was, shall we say, the chief contributor of explosives. We haven't set off fireworks together since 1997, I think. So I wonder if he was trying to make up for lost time.

We impatiently waited for dark and set off small rockets and poppers to pass the time. But when night finally fell, Lama broke out and big rockets, the mortars, the smiley faces (they all exploded upside down), and others ones with names like "Too Hot to Handel," "Heavy Heavy Fuel," "The Guns of Navarone," and others who's names I don't remember. I have a healthy fear of fire but even I lit off a few mortars.

Our friend (who shall remain nameless) gave us all quite a scare three times when unintentionally/on purpose he dropped mortars into overused tubes. The way Lama explained it was that after too much use the cardboard tube begins to flake and narrow if used in rapid succession. So what ended up happening was:
  1. The mortars would jam in the tune.
  2. The initial explosion meant to launch the mortar into the air goes off but is not strong enough to dislodge the mortar from the tube.
  3. The second explosion meant to create a colorful star in the heavens instead detonates on the ground, sending colorful fireballs in every direction.
The celebration went through midnight. No cops, no injuries and no apparent damage to property. All in all and enjoyable occasion. We took a moment to clean up the place. And then it happened.

Another friend (who shall also remain nameless) decided to make a final contribution to the nights festivities. I was about fifteen feet away but even in dark I could see him brandish his pistol, pick a hemisphere, and fire three rounds into the air.

Several things when through my mind during this:
  • When I saw the firearm I was fascinated by it. Earlier that day I had held a bee-bee gun that seemed real enough. Everyone had backed away from him so i assumed this was the real deal. I was exited for him pull the trigger, and then he did.
  • The first blast was laud, but muted when compared to the previous explosions. But I became aware of its power. Seeing him compensate against the kickback.
  • With the second blast I saw the mussel flash. I felt the vibration of the air. My excitement gave way to a frightening realization that should have been obvious: someone could be hurt or killed.
  • When the third round fired I remember that alcohol was served at this party. While I did not partake, I wasn't sure about our friend and his state of inebriation.
He lowered his weapon and was immediately approached by other gentlemen who apparently wanted to take their turns. My fear increased when I saw three hands on a gun. My mind flashed back to safety instructions at Mini Boot Camp: "Never have more than two hands on a weapon! When you receive or return your weapon, you do it with one hand. This way there are never more than two hands on a weapon. Decreasing the chances of a [frack] up." (I should mention this was high school, we were cadets, and the guns were jammed; we never fired any.)

I started walking away. I stopped near Lama's car. He was my ride back. I took a moment to imagine a round going through my head, the mess that it would make, and wondering how hard it would be to clean up. I am satisfied with m life so far, so I guess I was all set there, but the mess!

No one was hurt, nothing was damaged, but this event did give me pause, and a deeper respect for firearms. In many ways I guess I was naive and desensitized by what I see in movies and video games. I'll clean up the mess right after I re-spawn.

I should also make note that last night I failed as a Christian. I didn't make a single occasion to talk about God, invite anyone to my church, or even actively identify myself as a believer. What would Jesus do when he saw the gun? I'm certain I failed there too.

Even after last night there are parts of me that still want to buy a P-90. But after sensing just part of a gun's the destructive power I'm not sure I could ever bring myself about to using one.

Bottom line: fun times and no one was hurt, but I have a lot to think about. I'd appreciate any comments.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Any Effort to Prohibit Behavior Beyond Debate is Undue Force

Rule:
Any effort to prohibit the behavior of (1) an adult, or (2) between consenting adults, beyond debate or demonstration is undue force.

In other words:
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
But If you had the power, should you?
God respects my choices, why can't you?

Exceptions:
  • I say adults, as I subscribe to the idea that children should be subject to their parents (or those acting in their stead) to listen and obey.
  • Although not specifically stated, it is certainly implied, that the behavior only involves those that wish to partake, and that there would be no adverse effects (or unreasonable inconvenience) to those who don't partake.

Analysis:

What would this mean for suicide, drug use, and active homosexuals?

I am a Practicing Christian. It means that I read The Book and try to abide by it's teachings. I often attend church services as my formal and public act of worshiping God; but most importantly, I go to hear God's word. I often receive food for thought listening to someone else go into detail about a verse that I may have overlooked, or didn't consider under a certain light. As I sit there and listen, I ponder each point being made and apply them to my own understanding. Do they match what I already believe? Or do they clash? Do they shed new light? Or do they challenge my beliefs? Generally I agree with most of the ideas, I am persuaded by some others, and (quite rarely) I deny a few.

Here is where we get to the meat of the issue. As far as the rejected ideas go, should I be forced to accept them? Of course not.
Should I be persuaded? Sure, by anyone who wishes to take on the task. My ideas need to be challenged by argument. If my ides are right, they stand firm; if they are wrong, the challenge will expose and debunk hem. And it would behoove me to abandon them.
Now, what methods are fair game? The rule says debate and demonstration. That's it! But as we all know, some feel comfortable using threats, name calling, force, doctrine, or even our laws as methods of persuasion.

A man wants to kill himself.
I am against suicide as an option. I am inclined to dissuade anyone with that intent from doing so. You've got a lot to live for. Don't loose hope. God wants you to live, and dammit so do I. If my arguments have no effect, I'd probably try again. But at some point, my authority ends. Do I stop talking and restrain him physically for his own safety? This is probably the weakest part of my argument so why not make it the first. The rest is downhill from here.

How comfortable do I feel, essentially deciding that this person is now a child and needs me to make decisions for him to the point that I must stop him by force? Not very comfortable at all. You may feel differently.

This is my body. As an adult, I reserve the right to workout, eat healthy, and watch Oprah. Those of you that know me, know that I don't do any of those things; but I reserve that right. By that same logic I reserve the right to put a needle through my finger, a knife through my arm or a bullet through my head. Those of you that know me, know that I would never do any of those things; but I reserve that right.

If any self destructive action I take does not adversely effect or unreasonably inconvenience any of you, none of you have any right to restrain me from taking it, beyond for you argument, persuasion, and/or demonstration. Make me want to live. And if I believe that for myself, I have to treat others in the same light.

The same goes for SOME drug users. As I said, each of us has the right to self destruction. None of us has the right to harm others. So if you want to take drugs and drink booze to cloud your mind and help with your troubles (but please don't), that is your right. However it is not your right to endanger me with your second hand smoking, unchecked temper or inebriated driving.

The same goes for our brothers who choose to be active as homosexuals. I don't pretend to KNOW for certain that people are born as homosexuals, or if they are turned during their upbringing. As for myself, I had no interest in the fairer sex until I hit puberty, then they had plenty of my attention. And I'm not sure how much of a choice I had as to my preference.

Here is what I do know:
  • The equipment seems to have a purpose under the heterosexual model and not the homosexual one. The peaces seem to fit and each of us is evidence of it's function. Every homosexual that ever existed (so far) was born from a woman and with genetic material of a man.
  • Since my interest in women, I have yet to have sex. I am 29. I am unmarried. I am a virgin. This means one of two things: (1) I am mutt ugly and physical incapable of attracting a female, or (2) I have made a choice to abstain from sex until marriage. (Maybe a combination of both.)
  • The Bible is plenty clear. Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination (Leviticus 18:22). It is interesting to note that the New Testament says nothing on this subject.
With these things in mind, I conclude that even if I were convinced that homosexuals are born as homosexuals, they have the power, as much as anyone else, to choose to abstain from the actual act. I have often been overwhelmed by the desire to kill family members who have found occasion to anger me, friends who have betrayed my trust, and strangers who run red lights and almost kill me while I'm crossing the street. I have not killed anyone yet. I am capable of restraining myself from this natural, but very wrong, desire.

All of that said, the act of homosexuality takes place between consenting adults, and it has no obvious ill effects on society. So while I would point to the authorities listed above in trying to convince a homosexual to convert, or at least abstain from what they believe is a natural desire, my methods of persuasion must end at debate. Anything beyond that is undue force.

God has granted each of us free will. Each of us is capable to chose one thing over another. "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (I Corinthians 10:13). In other words our temptations, desires, weaknesses, vices are not stronger than we are. God has provided the exit and the capacity to chose it. If I chose not to take the exit, to ignore his word and do what I want, God respects that choice.

How many arms did Jesus twist? How many were forced into conversion by the Apostles? None, according to the Bible. What did Jesus do? He spoke God's word and asked people to accept it, chose it, obey it. He didn't twist any arms, He didn't threaten, He didn't lobby the Romans to pass laws against other groups.

Jesus healed the blind, lame, and the sick. He even brought people back from the dead. He did not "heal" anyone from their weakness. When all her accusers where gone, Jesus turned to the woman who was caught in the act of adultery and said "go, and sin no more." (John 8:11). He gave her a second chance and said take it. You have the ability to get it right from now on. Or you can chose to sin again, and I won't stop you because I respect your free will. I will not exorcise undue force.